How long does this take to do myself?

For a three-bedroom, two-bathroom house, realistically a full weekend if you are doing all of it properly. Most people do it in stages across a few weekends, which works fine as long as the order within each session holds.

Which parts are worth paying someone for?

The mineral scale and the full-length baseboards, in that order. Scale is the most product-and-technique dependent, and baseboards are the most tedious. Both are the things people abandon halfway.

Do I need special equipment?

Not really. A good vacuum with a crevice tool, microfiber cloths, a degreaser, a descaler, a grout brush and a flat mop covers nearly all of it. The crevice tool is the one people are missing.

What if the scale will not come off?

If a descaler with proper dwell time and mechanical work does not shift it, it has probably etched the surface rather than sitting on it. That is damage, and no amount of cleaning reverses it.

How often should I do all this?

Once or twice a year for a house without a regular cleaner. For a house on a weekly or biweekly schedule, often never again after the first one.

Checklist

Deep cleaning checklist

Organized by what you are removing rather than by room, because grease, minerals and dust each want a different approach — and doing them in the wrong order means doing some of them twice.

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A cleaner disinfecting a toilet in a bathroom

Three kinds of soil, three approaches

Almost everything on a deep clean list is one of three problems, and each responds to a different thing.

Grease is airborne cooking residue that has settled and gone tacky. It wants a degreaser and dwell time — spray, wait, then wipe. Scrubbing it dry just moves it around.

Mineral scale is what North Texas water leaves behind on glass, chrome and around fixtures. It wants an acidic descaler and dwell time, then mechanical work. It is the one people most often attack with the wrong product.

Dust is everything else, and it wants gravity respected: work high to low, dry before wet, and vacuum before mopping. Dust is easy. It is only difficult when it has been wetted into a film, which is what happens if you mop before you dust.

The practical consequence: apply your grease and scale products first, everywhere they are needed, and let them work while you do all the dry dusting. Then come back. It is the single biggest time saving available.

Grease and cooking residue

Degreaser on, wait, then wipe. Start here so it is working while you do everything else.

Kitchen surfaces

Cabinet fronts, full height, especially above the cooktop
Cabinet tops if they are open above
Backsplash, into the grout lines
Vent hood exterior and the filter
Sides and top of the range and refrigerator
Toe kicks under the cabinet run
The wall behind the cooktop

Around the kitchen

Small appliances moved and cleaned under
Light fixture over the island or table
The ceiling directly above the cooktop, if reachable
Nearby door frames and switch plates
Trash bin washed inside and out

Mineral scale and soap

Descaler on, wait, then work it mechanically. Do not mix products.

Bathrooms

Shower glass, both faces
Shower track and door hinges
Tile and grout, floor to ceiling
Around the base of every faucet
Showerhead and its fitting
Toilet base and the bolt caps
Drain covers and overflow plates

Elsewhere

Kitchen faucet base and sprayer
Stainless sink, particularly the drain surround
Any glass shower or splash panel
Utility sink taps

Dust, high to low

Dry work only. This is what you do while the products above are dwelling.

High

Ceiling fan blades, leading edge especially
Light fixtures and shades
Air return and vent covers
Tops of door frames and window frames
Crown moulding and picture rails
Cobwebs in corners and above doors

Middle

Shelving, including the front edges
Picture frames and wall decor
Window sills and interior tracks
Door faces, handles and switch plates
Radiator or vent grilles
Behind and under furniture that moves

Low and soft

Baseboards along their full length
Upholstery, including under the cushions
Fabric headboards
Rug edges and fringe
Stair risers as well as treads
Floor perimeter and corners

Floors come last, after everything above has shed onto them. Vacuum thoroughly including edges, then mop hard floors — twice if the first pass comes up dirty.

The order that saves the most time

If you do nothing else from this page, do it in this sequence.

Step 1
Apply everything that needs to dwell
Degreaser on cabinet fronts and hood. Descaler on shower glass, tile and faucet bases. Toilet bowl cleaner in. Then walk away.
Step 2
Do all the dry dusting
Every room, high to low. This takes long enough that the products above have had all the dwell time they need.
Step 3
Return to the wet work
Wipe and scrub what you applied first. It will come away with a fraction of the effort it would have taken cold.
Step 4
Floors last
Vacuum everywhere including perimeters, then mop. Do not walk back over finished rooms.

Two safety notes

Never mix cleaning products, and in particular never mix anything containing bleach with anything containing ammonia or acid — that includes many descalers and glass cleaners. Ventilate bathrooms while descaling. And test any acidic product on a hidden spot of natural stone first, because it can etch marble and some granites permanently.